The abyss no longer seemed infinite, but a cellar shrinking with every reverberation of the entity’s voice. Strahinja, or the horror wearing his skin, loomed larger than the rock vault itself. His new form was an obscene mockery of his once-familiar frame; limbs like gnarled oak, a torso that bulged and throbbed, and a crown of jagged, chitinous ridges. Scarlet slashes of light were all that remained of his eyes, burning with a predatory intelligence that was utterly alien. “The Singularity demands silence!” The words were a physical blow, a concussive force that rattled Danica’s teeth. Jagged cracks spread across the cavern walls, not from impact, but from the sheer resonance of the sound. The air itself seemed to tear, revealing glimpses of a churning, amethyst void beyond. Dragoš simply blinked, adjusting the oversized radiant claymore across his shoulder. He tilted his head, a faint blue text box materializing beside Strahinja’s mutated form. [Boss Unit: Strahinja (Ascendant Anomaly)] [Status: Corrupted, Hostile] [HP: ???????] [Abilities: Reality Rend, Void Howl, Dimensional Breach] “Ascendant Anomaly? Nice,” Dragoš muttered, a spark of genuine interest in his eyes. “Definitely a late-game boss. Good loot potential.” He adjusted his grip on the absurdly glowing weapon. “Okay, Danica, remember the plan. Push past the mob, hit the objective. Big guy’s just a gatekeeper.” The creature that was Strahinja roared, a sound that flayed the very stone. The cracks in the rock wall widened, then solidified into shimmering, plum-dark portals. From these, spectral tentacles, each thicker than a tree trunk and writhing with unholy force, lashed out. One slammed into the ground where Dragoš had stood moments before, reducing the bedrock to a spray of glittering dust that simply vanished, as if the space it occupied had been cleanly excised from existence. [Location Data Corrupted. Initiating Self-Repair Protocol.] the system message flashed, a stark blue against the darkening vault. Danica stared at the erased patch of ground, a terror far colder than any curse coiling in her gut. This wasn't just destruction; it was *erasure*. Her instincts screamed for Dragoš to run, to use his impossible glitches, but he casually sidestepped another lashing tentacle, whistling a tuneless melody. Another rift opened, and a section of the very air above them twitched, then *winked* out of existence. The darkness rushed in to fill the void, absolute and suffocating. Dragoš’s blue UI stuttered wildly, displaying a torrent of error messages. [Warning! Critical Map Data Loss!] [Environmental Assets Deleted!] [Reality Integrity Compromised!] “Huh, that’s a new one,” Dragoš observed, squinting at the system messages. “Devs really went all out with the environmental hazards.” He glanced at Danica. “Still, gotta get to the Spire. Don’t want to miss the server wipe event.” Danica felt a surge of desperate protectiveness. He couldn't see it, couldn't comprehend the true, terrifying finality of what was happening. This wasn't a game; it was their world, bleeding out around them. He was so focused on his 'game,' he would walk into oblivion. Her fingers tightened around the crystalline wand Dragoš had given her, the 'prop' that still hissed harmless blue smoke. It was warm, humming with a faint, almost imperceptible energy. The GM Access Token. The key he’d left with her. An immense, spectral hand coalesced from the purple void, streaking towards Dragoš. It moved with the impossible speed of a collapsing dimension, a silent, annihilating force. Dragoš looked up, a faint frown on his face. “Collision detection on point. Still, bit much for a boss intro, don’t you think?” There was no time for him to glitch, no time for him to react. Danica didn't think. She simply moved, thrusting the crystalline wand forward. A shimmering, sapphire barrier erupted from the tip, coalescing into a perfect, impenetrable dome around Dragoš and herself. The spectral hand struck the shield with the force of a cosmic hammer. The subterranean chamber groaned. The barrier shuddered, ringing like a struck bell, but it held. The air around it crackled, spitting azure sparks into the darkness. [GM Access Token: Latent Power Activated!] [User: Danica, Bride of Oplenac] [Ability: Dimensional Anchor – Active!] The entity in Strahinja's form recoiled, a low, guttural snarl vibrating through the abyss. The carmine facets of its eyes narrowed on Danica, a twitch of something akin to surprise, and then pure, unadulterated fury. The spectral hand dissipated, its force absorbed by the glowing shield. “Whoa,” Dragoš breathed, lowering his claymore slightly. He looked at the barrier, then at Danica, a strange glint in his eyes. “Nice block, Danica! You’ve got some serious tanking potential! Guess that wand wasn't just for show, huh? Did it come with a skill tree?” Danica caught her breath, not from fear, but from the sudden warmth blooming across her ribs. He had seen her. He had acknowledged her. She was not some discarded backdrop, not just an NPC. She had protected him. She had *stopped* the end of their existence, if only for a moment. The possessed groomsman roared again, its fury intensified. It began to tear at the stone itself, vast chunks of the ceiling simply disappearing into the void. The Dimensional Anchor barrier hummed under strain, struggling against the onslaught of erasure attacks. This was not a fight they could win by simply defending. “Right, right, aggro’s all on you now, Danica,” Dragoš said, tapping his chin. “Good job, but we need to reset this. Can’t have the boss focusing the healer. Time for some classic game mechanics.” He reached into his inventory, pulling out a small, crudely carved wooden flute. It looked like something a child would whittle from a stick, utterly out of place next to his radiant weapons. “What are you doing?” Danica demanded, bracing herself as another section of the ceiling vanished. “Old-school aggro management,” Dragoš declared, bringing the flute to his lips. He blew. The sound that emerged was less a melody and more a strangled, off-key squeal, like a dying pig caught in a rusty gate. It was agonizingly bad, a cacophony that assaulted the ears and grated on the soul. [Effect: Friendship Flute (Joke Item)] [Status: Playing Abysmal Melody] [Aggro Shift: Minor] The alien terror paused, its multi-faceted eyes twitching. The world-shredding attacks faltered. The awful noise continued, relentless and ear-splitting. Dragoš’s blue UI flashed, displaying a new, unexpected message. [Warning! Abysmal Melody Causing Existential Confusion in Boss Unit!] [Aggro: Redirecting...] [Target: Dragoš (Primary Threat: Auditory)] The creature’s head snapped towards Dragoš, its compound eyes shrinking in diameter, not with rage, but with a bewildered, almost pained expression. The relentless onslaught of deletion attacks ceased. The ancient chorus of its voice faltered, replaced by a strained, choked sound that was undeniably Strahinja's own. “Dragoš… end it,” Strahinja’s voice, weak and trembling, broke through the booming chorus, a fragile whisper in the face of cosmic power. “Please… kill me… before it takes everything.” The plea was raw, filled with a desperate, soul-deep agony. The titan shuddered, fighting against itself. Danica’s heart twisted. Strahinja, their loyal friend, was still in there, trapped in a living nightmare. He was begging for liberation through death, a sacrifice to save them all. It was the tragic choice, the noble end. But Dragoš merely frowned, still producing that horrendous noise from the flute. “Kill you? Nah, man, that’s terrible quest design,” Dragoš said, pulling the flute from his lips, though the ringing in Danica’s ears persisted. “We’re not doing the tragic sacrifice trope. Totally uninspired. Plus, you’re my best friend, Strahinja. You don’t just ‘kill off’ a main character for cheap drama. Gotta find a better solution.” He rummaged through his inventory, his brow furrowed in concentration. “There’s usually an aggro-reset or a pet-tame option for these types of corrupted companion bosses. Let’s see…” Strahinja’s towering bulk began to convulse again, the suppressed god regaining control, its rubied eyes flaring with renewed malice. “Silence… the… blasphemer…” it growled, the cosmic chorus returning. “Aha!” Dragoš exclaimed, pulling a rolled-up parchment from his digital space. It glowed with a faint, arcane energy, covered in intricate, looping script. “Found it! The ‘Soul-Binding Contract’! Perfect for taming those pesky eldritch horrors that refuse to despawn.” He grinned, then, with a surprising burst of speed, lunged forward. Before the monstrous Strahinja could fully reassert its control, Dragoš slapped the glowing parchment squarely onto its corrugated forehead. The parchment flared with blinding lilac light, adhering to the creature’s skin as if branded. Strahinja’s very essence was drawing it in. [Item Used: Soul-Binding Contract (GM Artifact)] [Target: Strahinja (Ascendant Anomaly)] [Binding Protocol Initiated!] [Success! Boss Unit Converted to Non-Combat Pet!] The grotto rang with lavender power, a thunderous, resonant hum filling the space. Strahinja’s swollen frame began to collapse in on itself, shrinking, condensing, the black ichor receding, the chitinous ridges melting away. The eldritch roar transmuted into a series of indignant, gurgling squeaks. The cosmic chorus fractured into a singular, petulant whine. Within moments, the colossal, reality-warping horror that had been Strahinja was gone, replaced by a small, floating, grumpy-looking purple squid, no bigger than Dragoš’s head, its multiple tentacles flailing in what seemed to be existential outrage. Two small, crimson eyes, still eerily familiar, glared at Dragoš with an expression of utter disbelief and profound annoyance. Strahinja, his best friend, was saved. The eldritch god, however, was now a rather cross pet.

The Eldritch Groomsman