Fated, Fanged, and Fabulously Petty

I was peacefully eating mini-quiches at the back of my own funeral when my fated mate took the podium. Instead of mourning my tragic cliff-fall, Alpha Karnok announced my 'death' was a blessing. He cited a blatantly fake prophecy claiming I’d bring ruin to our clan, then cheerfully named my snooty cousin as his new Luna. Heartbreak? Sure. But mostly, I was annoyed he skimped on the catering. Sneaking into the pack vault for revenge, I accidentally swallowed our clan's most sacred glowing artifact. Huge mistake. It triggered a massive, hair-flipping glow-up and magically bound me to Tarkis, a legendary, incredibly grumpy ancient Vampire Lord who had broken in to steal it. Now we're forced into a fake alliance at the cutthroat Lycan Summit, constantly sabotaging each other while I play the oblivious, bubbly airhead to hide my newfound terrifying strength. Karnok keeps catching glimpses of my power and is starting to violently, deliciously regret his choices. But how long until my new vampire mate realizes the thief he's hunting is the very girl he's falling for?