The Deadpan Alchemist's Imminent Expiration

Huo Yanting was supposed to die quietly after his father viciously drained his sacred bloodline. Instead, he wakes up hanging upside down inside the sect ancestor's suspended burial chandelier, clutching a rusted ring. Inside it resides Empress Chi Mei, a seductive demonic alchemist who promises him the power to shatter the heavens. Naturally, Yanting accepts, returning to the sect to deadpan-shatter the kneecaps of every arrogant young master who mocks his crippled state. But Chi Mei conveniently forgot to mention one detail: her supreme alchemy technique uses Yanting's body as the furnace. If he doesn't break through to the next major realm in exactly thirty days, his internal organs will permanently mutate into ultra-rare, sentient medicinal roots. With the clock ticking, Yanting is forced to enter the prestigious Iron Cauldron Sparring Festival to violently extract enough resources from his bullies to survive. When a notoriously pompous elite challenges him, Yanting responds by deliberately summoning a heavenly tribulation mid-match just to multitask his breakthrough. Will his merciless face-slapping secure his survival, or will he literally cough up a thousand-year ginseng?