Say Yes and Nobody Gets Hurt

When a strange fruit bouquet arrived at my drafting desk containing chocolate-covered strawberries and my mother's severed ankle monitor, I knew her embezzlement from the Cante Syndicate’s olive oil front had caught up to us. To save my sister Nola, I did the logical thing: I offered myself to the terrifying boss, Lazaro Cante, in a hostage marriage. As a cold, calculating woman, I studied the syndicate rulebook to ensure survival. I know exactly how to push him - like refusing to eat until he lets me call Nola. The math says he should threaten me, but instead, he is wildly obsessed with my defiance. My survival equations hold up perfectly until the corrupt Alta-Mora police raid the compound while I’m completely alone. As I barricade the doors, Lazaro doesn't just rescue me; he violently burns half the city down for me. As the smoke clears, my comic-relief best friend Juri points out a fatal flaw in my logic: I misread the old-dialect marriage contract. I’m not his hostage. I’m legally the absolute Don. How do I divorce a man who will slaughter armies for me without accidentally ordering my own hit?