Sweat dripped down the high priest’s wrinkled temple as he muttered frantic prayers over our adjacent cribs. "An abomination," the older cleric hissed, his knuckles white against his golden staff. "We must separate them immediately. The child of Light shall be raised in the Sun Tower. The child of Darkness... must be put down." Hearing those words made my tiny, infant blood run cold. I looked over at the massive obsidian crib next to mine, where Jasper was currently trying to chew on his own fist. His dark, chubby face twisted into a scowl that looked remarkably like his old 'we are going to miss the last train' face from our Tokyo days. We had spent forty years formatting Excel sheets, kissing up to middle management, and drinking lukewarm canned coffee. There was absolutely no way we were going to let a bunch of cultists in shiny robes turn us into child soldiers or execute us before we even had teeth. Jasper caught my eye. He gave a slight, heavy nod, his tiny brow furrowing with intense concentration. Time to initiate the exit strategy. Deep within my tiny chest, a warm, volatile power began to churn. It felt like swallowing a mouthful of pure, liquid sunlight, bubbling up through my throat and pooling in my ridiculously small palms. S-Tier Light Magic was no joke, even if my lungs were currently the size of walnuts. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pointed my chubby, dimpled hands toward the high ceiling. "Goo," I announced, demanding their full attention. Priests blinked down at me, their patronizing smiles freezing as my skin began to glow with a blinding, incandescent intensity. The golden crib vibrated. Dust motes in the air ignited like tiny sparks of magnesium. Before anyone could scream, a solid pillar of pure, white-hot light erupted from my palms. Boom. Blinding energy shot upward, striking the massive, ancient stained-glass window depicting the empire's founding gods. The glass didn't just crack; it vaporized into a million glittering shards that rained down like a storm of colorful diamonds. Deafening shrieks echoed through the grand cathedral as the priests threw their hands over their eyes, completely blinded by the flash. "My eyes!" the high priest screamed, dropping his staff and stumbling backward into an altar. "The Light of the Heavens has cursed us!" Meanwhile, Jasper was already executing phase two of our impromptu heist. Darkness, thick and heavy as crude oil, began to seep from his obsidian crib, pooling across the stone floor. It wasn't light-absorbing shadow, but rather a localized gravity field that made the very air feel heavy and suffocating. He focused that gravity with the cold, calculating precision of a senior project manager cutting a budget. Clinking sounds echoed through the dust and chaos. Heavy, leather coin purses snapped off the belts of the blinded priests, yanked through the air by invisible gravitational strings. They flew across the room like magnetically attracted metal, landing with heavy, satisfying thuds directly into our baby blankets. Jasper let out a wet, gurgling chuckle, clutching three bulging sacks of gold coins to his chest. Capital was secured. Now, we just had to make our escape. Rolling over onto my stomach, I wiggled out of the golden crib, dropping onto the plush velvet rug below with a soft plop. Jasper followed a second later, landing with a much heavier thud that knocked the wind out of him for a brief, terrifying moment. He gasped, glared at me, and then began to crawl. Crawling with adult minds in infant bodies was a humiliating, agonizing experience. Our coordination was completely shot, our limbs were too short, and our heads felt like heavy bowling balls bowling us forward. Slowly, we dragged ourselves through the glittering glass-strewn rubble, staying low beneath the thick smoke rising from the shattered altar. "Hurry up, you giant potato," I wanted to yell, but it came out as a desperate, high-pitched squeak. Jasper grunted, kicking his chubby legs with surprising speed as he hauled his massive baby frame toward the side exit. He looked like an aggressive, oversized turtle chasing a head of lettuce. Blinded templars stumbled past us, their heavy iron boots missing our heads by mere inches. One priest fell flat on his face right next to me, his nose breaking on the stone floor with a wet crunch. I didn't feel a shred of pity; these guys were literally planning to murder my best friend and brainwash me into a holy war. We scrambled under a heavy oak pew, holding our breath as more guards rushed into the main hall. "Find the infants!" a booming voice roared from the smoke. "They cannot have gone far! They are newborns!" Newborns with forty years of corporate survival instincts and S-Tier magical reserves, you absolute idiots. Using the shadow of the pews as cover, we finally reached the heavy wooden side door, which had been blown slightly off its hinges by my initial blast. I squeezed through the gap first, my skinny baby arms scratching slightly against the rough wood. Jasper wedged himself through right after me, his chubby cheeks compressing hilarious style before he popped through to the other side. Cool, fresh air hit our faces, carrying the scent of blooming jasmine and wet stone. We were out. We found ourselves in a massive, sprawling courtyard filled with manicured hedges, marble statues, and winding stone pathways. The sky above was a brilliant, foreign blue, completely devoid of the smog we had grown used to in Tokyo. We crawled into the thick brush of a nearby rose garden, panting heavily as our tiny, undeveloped lungs struggled to keep up. My heart hammered against my ribs like a trapped bird. We had done it. We had successfully rebelled against a divine empire on our very first day of life. I looked over at Jasper, who was currently drooling onto a sack of gold coins while trying to count them. He looked up, his dark eyes sparkling with a mixture of triumph and exhaustion. Then, the cold, harsh reality of our situation began to sink in. Where exactly were we going? I looked down at my tiny, pale hands, then at the massive stone walls surrounding the cathedral grounds. We were infants. We couldn't walk. We couldn't talk. We didn't know the geography of this world, let alone where the nearest border was. More importantly, where was the nearest tavern? How were we supposed to buy premium dwarven ale and relax when we literally couldn't digest anything other than warm milk? Jasper’s expression shifted from triumphant to deeply concerned. He let out a low, pathetic whine, pointing his chubby finger toward the massive outer walls. We were completely lost, helpless, and currently holding stolen state funds while dressed in nothing but silk diapers. This was a very bad first day. Determined to at least reach the perimeter, we dragged our exhausted bodies through the dirt, aiming for a small drainage grate near the outer garden walls. If we could just slide through there, we might make it to the city streets. Suddenly, the air grew incredibly hot. --- Just as they reach the outer garden walls, the sky turns a sickening crimson as a massive, armored Arbiter Sentinel drops from the clouds, landing directly in front of them with a crater-causing thud.

Chapter 2: A Very Bad First Day