I'm the Prophesied Muse, So Where's My Paycheck?

Jana Novakova's life was a thrilling cycle of slinging pierogi, dodging her landlord, and trying to win a lifetime supply of sour cream. That all changes when she wakes up not in her cramped apartment, but on a velvet divan in the opulent Lyceum of Veridian Spires. Here, she's hailed as the 'Aetherial Catalyst,' a figure from a vague prophecy destined to choose a consort from the kingdom's four most powerful (and insufferable) young lords, thereby uniting the fractured nation. The problem? Jana doesn't care about their ancient feuds or smoldering gazes; she just wants a decent meal and a way home. Armed with a shameless attitude and her perpetually terrified talking ferret sidekick, Pips, Jana decides to play along. She'll milk this 'sacred duty' for all it's worth, pitting the princes against each other in increasingly absurd contests to win her favor, all while secretly searching for the truth behind her bizarre abduction. But the prophecy is more than just bad poetry, and the true architect of her fate is hiding in plain sight. Can Jana swindle her way out of a divine destiny before it gets her - and everyone else - killed?