Excuse Me While I Ascend

Targen was born with the Void-Belly Physique - he absorbs spiritual energy infinitely, but produces absolutely nothing. To the cutthroat Iron-Lotus Pavilion, he is worthless trash. But when a chase through a crowded bazaar forces him to hide in a forgotten cave, he accidentally absorbs a drop of chaotic dragon blood. The blood awakens Jochi, an ancient, wine-guzzling deity who offers Targen a path to godhood for the price of a good vintage. There’s just one tiny detail Jochi forgot to mention: the blood acts as a celestial ticking time bomb. If Targen doesn't reach the immortal realm in exactly 365 days, he will spontaneously combust. Now, this impossibly kind pushover must race against the clock, armed with a cloud-weaver pangolin and devastating ancient techniques. During the Spring Selection Tournament, his snobby fiancée tries to publicly humiliate him by breaking their engagement. Instead, Targen politely cancels her first, shocking the sect and kicking off a relentless chain of accidental face-slapping. Can he apologize his way to the apex of the martial world before his own blood incinerates him?