The Handyman's Guide to Heavenly Tribulations
By @john1208
For three thousand years, Zhongli Que was the undisputed Apex Sovereign of the Ocher Expanse. Then he got sick of the endless paperwork, the groveling elders, and the constant assassination attempts. Faking his own death, he rebranded himself as 'Gong Zui', a mortal handyman charging minimum wage to unclog spiritual latrines and patch leaky defensive arrays at the impoverished Weeping Banyan Sect. Needing someone to carry his heavy toolboxes, Gong hires Shen Yimo - a teenager rejected by every sect for his entirely inert 'Stone-Lead Meridians'. To make his new assistant stronger for manual labor, Gong teaches him the 'Ergonomic Shovel Stance' and 'Rhythmic Brick-Laying Breathing'. But Gong's understanding of the universe is so profound that his mundane chores are actually the lost Primordial Dao of Physical Sanctification. Soon, Shen is casually swatting away arrogant young masters and shattering tournament records, all while earnestly claiming his master is just a humble carpenter. As the supreme orthodox sects grow terrified and mobilize their grandmasters to execute this 'demonic anomaly', will Gong Zui have to pick up his rusty trowel and remind the world who wrote the laws of cultivation in the first place?
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The Warlord's Impregnable Pumpkin Patch
By @john1208
Sullka was a painfully shy botanist who preferred plants to people. But after a bizarre cosmic mishap, he wakes up in mid-air, plummeting toward the highest terrace of the Qullu Ziggurat. Worse, he is trapped inside the hulking, heavily tattooed body of Zarutha, the realm's most feared warlord. Terrified of the bloodthirsty dungeon monsters, Sullka stubbornly falls back on the only thing he understands: agriculture. Armed with terrifying warlord strength, he wrestles the floor's dungeon boss - a massive obsidian-horned minotaur - into a makeshift harness to plow the volcanic soil. Soon, the terrifying beast is happily tilling fields and violently defending Sullka's cabbage patch from invading monsters. But while Sullka blushes his way through awkward encounters with a deadly assassin sent to kill him, his cozy farm begins causing global chaos. His magical healing apples are completely bankrupting the world's potion guilds, and his giant pumpkins are being deployed as impenetrable siege shields by a scheming elder. With furious alchemists funding a massive crusade to burn his farm to the ground, can this meek botanist protect his peaceful orchard, or will his agricultural supremacy accidentally conquer the world?
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