Chapter 9 of 10
The Heaviest Armor
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A chill that had nothing to do with the void’s inherent cold spread from the spectral Zarmin. Her twisted form, a grotesque mirror of the woman Barlas knew, pressed the obsidian blade deeper against her own throat. The air crackled with raw, potent sorrow, thick enough to claw at the lungs.
“Strike me down,” the Guilt-Zarmin rasped, her voice a chorus of despair, each word a shard of glass. “End this. End *me*. It is the only way to save them. The only way to stop this agony, this *curse*.” Her gaze, burning with self-loathing, fixed on Barlas. “You are a god, are you not? Finish what you started.”
Tala gasped, a small, choked sound. Dastan, rarely caught off balance, staggered back, his hand instinctively going to the hilt of his sword, though he knew any blade was useless against such a foe.
Barlas stood motionless for a long moment, his chest heaving. The usual aggressive scowl was absent. The furious fire in his eyes, typically blazing against any perceived threat, flickered out beneath a sickening realization. This was not a monster to be squashed, not a storm to be sneezed away, not a ruffian to be flicked. This was *Zarmin*. Or rather, the part of her that believed itself beyond redemption, a wounded animal cornered and lashing out at itself.
He watched her, truly *watched* her, not with the exasperated bark he reserved for fragile mortals, but with an aching, sharp clarity. The blade at her throat pulsed with a dark light, promising oblivion. The continent outside, he knew, was already groaning under the strain of her pain. His goal, his singular focus to keep everyone safe, collided with the impossible. To save them, he had to destroy *her*. The very thought was a poison.
“No,” Barlas said, his voice surprisingly soft, a stark contrast to his usual booming commands. “No, I won’t.”
The Guilt-Zarmin scoffed, a dry, bitter sound. “You must. The world… the *world* is dying because of me. Because of my weakness. My guilt. Do you not feel the tremors? The collapsing sky? It all stems from me. From this… this *stain*.” Her stare drilled into him, frantic and begging. “Do it. Cut me loose. Free them all.”
Barlas took a step forward, then another. The Guilt-Zarmin flinched, tightening her grip on the shadow blade, ready for the final blow. Dastan and Tala exchanged worried glances, bracing for a clash that seemed inevitable, horrifying. But Barlas didn’t raise a hand. He didn’t flex a muscle. Instead, with a shuddering breath that seemed to tear through his very core, he dropped to his knees.
The sound echoed in the vast, tear-filled void. A god, infinite in power, reduced to mortal posture. His head bowed, his broad shoulders, perpetually rigid with defiance, slumped. The immense strength that could toss mountains and quell apocalypses, vanished, replaced by an unbearable fragility. He looked utterly, devastatingly, human.
“I can’t,” he whispered, the words ragged, thick with an emotion he had never allowed himself to show. “I can’t lose you again, Zarmin.” His voice cracked. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t live with it. Not once more.”
He raised his head, and Tala gasped at the sight. Tears, hot and undeniably real, streamed down Barlas’s face, carving glistening paths through the dust and grime that still clung to him from his journey. His pupils, ordinarily fierce and unyielding, trembled with raw, unfiltered agony. The expression on his face was one of absolute, unvarnished terror.
“On Earth,” he choked out, his voice hoarse, “when I… when I died… I thought… I thought it was for the best. That you’d be safe. That you’d move on. But then I came here, and I saw you, broken, hurting, and I realized… I realized I was a fool.” He dragged a shaking hand through his hair. “I was so scared, Zarmin. Scared of rejection. Scared of admitting… of admitting how much you meant to me. How much I… I loved you. I was a coward. I ran from my own heart, and it broke yours.”
His confession hung in the air, a bare, raw truth that stripped away every layer of his aggressive, overbearing demeanor. The void itself seemed to hold its breath.
[Divine Grace: The Naked Heart]
The golden script blazed above his head, so bright it momentarily eclipsed the swirling darkness of the void. It pulsed with an intensity that rattled the very fabric of reality.
The Guilt-Zarmin, who had been frozen in place, her blade trembling at her throat, let out a piercing shriek. It wasn’t a cry of anger, but of utter, shattering pain. Her spectral form began to distort, not with malice, but with pure anguish. The obsidian blade in her hand dissolved into tendrils of black smoke, writhing as if in torment. Her features, contorted by self-loathing, began to unravel, her burning eyes dimming.
“No… no…” she whimpered, her voice losing its multi-layered echo, shrinking to a single, desolate whisper. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t your fault… it was…” Her form flickered, violently convulsing, as if caught in a maelstrom of conflicting emotions. The essence of self-blame, so long concentrated, could not withstand the raw, untainted truth of Barlas’s confession.
With a final, silent scream that seemed to rip her apart from the inside, the Guilt-Zarmin exploded. Not with a destructive force, but with a torrent of glittering, crystalline dust that sparkled like shattered starlight before fading into nothingness. The oppressive chill, the heavy sense of despair, vanished as if it had never been.
As the last vestiges of the manifestation dissipated, the translucent, crystal cocoon that encased the true Zarmin began to crack. Not from external force, but from within, as if the ancient grief that had sustained it had finally shattered. A soft, warm light emanated from the fissures. The cocoon crumbled into a shower of iridescent motes, revealing Zarmin, suspended in the air, her eyes fluttering open. A delicate, ethereal beauty, no longer weeping, but simply… present. Whole.
But as her eyes opened, a terrible, resonant groan ripped through the entire realm. The void around them shuddered violently. The very air, once thick with sorrow, now thinned to a dangerous vacuum. The realm's suspended magic, trapped under the pressure of Zarmin’s guilt for centuries, buckled under the backlash of its sudden unraveling. The starlight above them, the foundation of this ethereal domain, began to twist and contort, turning into grasping, predatory shadows. The entire realm’s magic, no longer bound by a singular, overwhelming despair, was collapsing in on itself, threatening to crush them all into oblivion.