The next few days passed quietly. Too quietly, perhaps. Kai threw himself into everything he could control. Lectures. Assignments. His research work. His shifts at the restaurant. The occasional late-night study session with Ethan. He kept moving because stopping gave his thoughts too much room. And lately, his thoughts had been inconveniently full of Adrian. Not constantly. That would have been easier to admit. It was the small moments that bothered him. When he finished a difficult lecture and instinctively reached for his phone, expecting a message. When something funny happened at work and he wondered what Adrian would say. When he walked home at night and noticed the black cars passing by, only to realize he was looking for one particular car. And then there was the strangest part. Adrian wasn’t doing anything wrong. He wasn’t appearing at the university. He wasn’t showing up at Kai’s workplace. He wasn’t demanding his time. He wasn’t trying to solve Kai’s problems. He had simply given Kai space. And somehow, that made Kai miss him more. “You look distracted.” Kai looked up from his notes. Ethan was sitting across from him in the library, staring at him suspiciously. “I’m studying.” “You’ve been staring at the same page for ten minutes.” Kai looked down. He was, in fact, staring at the same paragraph. “Maybe it’s a difficult page.” Ethan snorted. “Or maybe you’re thinking about your boyfriend.” Kai immediately frowned. “He isn’t my boyfriend.” “Yet.” “Ethan.” “I’m just saying.” Kai closed his book. “I’m going to the cafeteria.” “Running away?” “Yes.” Ethan grinned. “Classic.” Kai ignored him. But as he walked away, his phone vibrated. His heart reacted before his brain did. He pulled it out. A message from Adrian. Adrian: Have you eaten? Kai stared at the screen. Then smiled despite himself. Kai: You really need a new question. The reply came a few seconds later. Adrian: Have you? Kai rolled his eyes. Kai: No. Adrian: Why? Kai: Because I was studying. Adrian: That’s not an answer. Kai: It is literally an answer. Adrian: It’s a bad one. Kai laughed quietly. A couple of students passing by glanced at him. He immediately straightened his face. Kai: I’m fine. There was a pause. Then— Adrian: I know. Kai blinked. Adrian: I’m still allowed to care. The smile faded slightly from Kai’s face. He stared at those words longer than he should have. There was no demand behind them. No pressure. No attempt to take control. Just care. Kai typed slowly. Kai: I know. Then he added: Kai: Thank you. Adrian didn’t respond immediately. When the message finally arrived, it was simple. Adrian: You’re welcome. Kai slipped the phone back into his pocket. For some reason, his chest felt lighter. ⸻ Across the city, Adrian sat in a conference room surrounded by people arguing over numbers. The project delay had become more serious. A supplier had failed to meet an important deadline, forcing the company to reorganize part of the medical technology rollout. Everyone in the room wanted a quick solution. Adrian wanted a correct one. “We’re not paying the penalty,” he said calmly. “Rewrite the contract terms and move the delivery through the secondary supplier.” One of the executives hesitated. “The secondary supplier will cost more.” “Then calculate whether the additional cost is lower than the cost of delaying the entire project.” The room went silent. “Do it.” The meeting continued. Adrian remained focused. But when his phone vibrated beside his hand, his eyes moved toward it for half a second. Marcus noticed. He noticed everything these days. After the meeting ended, Marcus gathered the documents. “You know,” he said casually, “you could just tell him you’re worried.” Adrian looked at him. “I’m not worried.” Marcus raised an eyebrow. “Of course.” Adrian returned to his laptop. “Anything else?” “No.” Marcus walked toward the door. Then stopped. “By the way, Mr. Blake?” Adrian looked up. “You’ve smiled at your phone three times today.” Adrian’s expression immediately became blank. “Leave.” Marcus smiled. “Already going.” The door closed. Adrian leaned back in his chair. His gaze moved toward the city outside the window. He hadn’t seen Kai in several days. He could arrange a dinner. He could drive to the university. He could create a reason to see him. But he didn’t. Because Kai had spent years fighting to keep control of his own life. Adrian wasn’t going to become another person taking that control away. So he stayed where he was. And waited. ⸻ That evening, Kai arrived home later than usual. His mother was in the living room, sorting through a stack of papers. Kai stopped when he saw her expression. “What happened?” She looked up quickly. “Nothing.” “Mom.” She sighed. “Your father’s medication cost more this month.” Kai walked over. “How much?” “It’s fine.” “How much?” She hesitated before giving him the amount. Kai’s jaw tightened. He reached for his wallet. His mother immediately stopped him. “No.” “I have money.” “You need it for school.” “I’ll manage.” “You always say that.” Kai smiled faintly. “It’s because I always do.” His mother looked at him for a long moment. “You’re twenty.” “You make it sound like I’m forty.” “I’m your mother. I’m allowed.” Kai laughed softly. But when he went to his room later, the smile disappeared. He sat on the edge of his bed and stared at his bank balance. It wasn’t enough. Not for everything. Not for his family. Not for tuition. Not for the future he was trying to build. And certainly not enough to stop something unexpected from going wrong. His phone lay beside him. Adrian’s name was only a few taps away. Kai could tell him. He could explain. Adrian would probably help. That was exactly why Kai didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want Adrian’s money to become the answer every time his life became difficult. He didn’t want to wake up one day and realize he couldn’t stand without him. Kai locked his phone. “I can do this.” He said it quietly to the empty room. “I have to.” ⸻ The following morning, Adrian noticed the difference immediately. Kai’s messages weren’t cold. They weren’t distant enough to be called avoidance. But something was missing. The playful comments came less often. The conversations ended sooner. When Adrian asked how Kai was doing, Kai answered. Fine. When Adrian asked about school— Busy. When Adrian asked if he had eaten— Yes. Three words. Three walls. Adrian stared at the screen. He could have pushed. He didn’t. Instead, he typed: Adrian: I won’t bother you today. Kai read the message almost immediately. His chest tightened. He hadn’t wanted Adrian to disappear. He just didn’t know how to explain what was happening inside him. His fingers hovered over the keyboard. Then he typed: Kai: You aren’t bothering me. A reply appeared. Adrian: Good. Another message followed. Adrian: Then I’ll be here. Kai stared at it. No pressure. No questions. No attempt to force him open. Just— I’ll be here. Kai swallowed. For the first time, he understood something that frightened him more than dependence. He was beginning to trust Adrian. Not because Adrian could make his problems disappear. Not because Adrian was powerful. Not because Adrian could give him things Kai couldn’t afford. But because Adrian was learning when to stay close… and when to simply stay. Kai smiled faintly. Then, after a long pause, he typed: Kai: I miss you. He stared at the message. His heart pounded. For several seconds, he considered deleting it. Then he pressed send. Across the city, Adrian’s phone lit up. He read the message once. Then again. His expression softened. He typed only four words. Adrian: I miss you too. And for the first time, neither of them tried to hide it.

The Things We Choose To Hold Onto