The courtyard was empty. Usually it felt like a bustling little town of its own, with carts and benches and people talking to each other. Now there was just wind, a few birds, and the flat patch of stones where the qawah guy's cart should have been. I stopped in the middle of the path. "No." Lynne kept walking a few steps before she noticed I wasn't next to her anymore. "What is it?" I pointed at the empty patch. "The qawah guy." "Lynni!" Cecily was crossing the courtyard toward us, bag swinging off her shoulder. She hugged Lynne quickly, then looked at me, then at where I was pointing. "What are we looking at?" "He's gone." "Who?" "The qawah guy." Cecily looked at the empty stones. Then back at me. There really was no more qawah guy… In fact there was nothing, the courtyard that usually felt like a busting town of its own was now so empty and quiet. “You could not have possibly thought he lived in his cart.” Cecily said “He was open so late, I just thought, I don't know, that like…” “That he lived in there?” “I mean.” I imagined he had a bed inside his cart and would just crawl inside it like it was a part time tent I couldn't tell if that set up would get him better or worse sleep compared to my room with the parade of students marching through as a daily alarm. “He most certainly has a home and other employees who take shifts.” Lynne stated “I mean yeah I know that, but like, why is he gone today?” “It's Frīgeday.” “Why Friday?” My disappointment was immense “Because, it's the weekend ofcourse.” Cecily said it like I was just supposed to know these things. I don't. This is bullshit I looked around the empty courtyard. Then back to my nametag. I could still use this to buy food, I'll just have to go out of the academy. It should be fine, I can just go find a coffee shop in town. But it won't be the same as the qawah guys… It's ok, it gives me a chance to explore around town today I guess. Cecily turned to Lynne. “I shalt go fetch my things, and our June. Dost thou want to accompany me?” She somehow sounded more playful and lively even though her words felt odd to me, like it belongs in a theater, not casually like this. “Ofcourse!” Lynne chirped then turned to me “Would you like to come over as well for the weekend?” I waved my hands in front of me. “Oh no, I couldn't.” “T’would be fun.” Cecily said. “I can't just show up uninvited to Mrs. Daniels place.” “I assure you, she won't mind, she quite liked you.” Lynne says “She's not going to like me if I keep showing up unannounced.” “Truly, she minds not, she quite fancies when I bring my friends home for dinner.” “I don't know, I'll feel bad, I can't just go do that.” Lynne tilted her head with a curious look. I didn't know how to explain it without making it sound like I didn't want to go. I did want to, her house was nice, and her family was nice to me. But that was exactly the reason I couldn't just keep showing up and freeloading. “It'll be fine, I still have this.” I pointed at my nametag. “I can just go into town to find another coffee shop or restaurant or something.” Cecily looked at me like I was dumb. “You can’t use that.” “What do you mean? The qawah guy lets me buy coffee with it everyday.” “Yes, in the courtyard. He's a part of the academy meal program, the academy pays him.” “Oh.” This has suddenly become a serious problem beyond just getting my favorite coffee. “So if I go to town to buy food…” “You just use regular coin ofcourse.” Cecily stated. “Wait, what if I don't have that?” Cecily looked like my words didn't compute in her brain. “You don't have money?” “I mean I have this.” I pointed at my nametag again. “That's not money, how dost thou have no money?” She said it all accusatoryly. “I don't know, I don't have a job. How do you have money?” “My parents ofcourse.” “Well I don't have those.” Cecily's face dropped, she looked at me like I was some whimpering puppy. I realized how that must have sounded. “No, no not like that. I don't even remember my parents.” That didn't help. She looked at me like I was a traumatized orphan. I mean I don't know if I was. I mean don't think I am. “No, you don't understand Cecily. I don't even know if my parents are alive or not, like I don't even know what they look like.” Cecily tilts her head with a sad sympathetic face, she looked like she was saying ‘aww’ without actually saying it. She looked at me like I was telling her a sob story, I wasn't. She just wasn't understanding, I just didn't remember was all, I didn't feel particularly emotional about this. I was about to tell her before I remembered what Professor L’Moussefluer was saying about people accidentally giving you false memories or whatever. I looked towards Lynne for help. “I remember when mum received the letter from papa's regiment commander.” That did not help. This was not the direction I wanted to go. Lynne looked like she was about to cry. “No, you don't understand, I don't actually—” “I knew something was wrong the moment mum began protesting merely at the sight of the letter.” Lynne's expression changed and her eyes got all misty. Cecily gently hugged her and looked up at her with so much compassion that I didn't know her otherwise smug face was capable of. I was just trying to figure out where I was supposed to go get food. I'm not equipped to trauma bond over absent parents. “Oh my dearest Lynni!” Cecily said all gently. She rubbed Lynne's back. “I couldn't imagine losing my father at such a tender age.” “Nay, but at least I hath been given time with him, but poor Xu.” Lynne and Cecily were both looking at me like it was their first time witnessing one of those depressing charity adverts for starving kids from some war torn country. “I’m not—” I pointed between myself and Lynne. “These, these are not the same.” “Xu…” “No you don't—” Their stares were so sympathetic and yet they were completely frustrating. This moment did not warrant so much severity. “Like, seriously, she actually remembers losing her dad. I don't really, like, you know...” Lynne's arms tightened around Cecily. She looked like she was getting sadder and more concerned with each passing second. “No, not like that! What I mean is I don't remember them, I'm not like actively missing people I don't know. I might have great parents or horrible parents. They might be alive, they might be dead. I don't know.” Cecily's eyes somehow got softer. Why did everything I say somehow make this worse? I sighed “Look, this is completely beside the point. I really don't feel bad about it.” “You are allowed to.” Lynne said it so genuinely. I felt bad, but I almost laughed. Their sympathy felt so misdirected. But they were so sweet. Still, I had no money and apparently capitalism still exists. “I'll be fine, right now I just need to know where students are supposed to go to get food over the weekends.” “Most have an allowance.” Cecily says “From where?” “Their families.” “Right…” “Thou truly hast no money?” This rich white girl just straight up calling me a broke bitch. I mean I guess I was. But they didn't have to look at me like I was. “No, but, I mean like, there's got to be some place I can go get food during the weekends.” Lynne and Cecily looked at each other, then back to me. “There is.” Lynne said. “There is?” “Yes.” She nodded “Where?” “My home.” She said it like it was the only option. “That's not what I meant, like what are students who live in the dorms supposed to do?” “Buy food.” Cecily stated “with coin.” It felt like she just added that last part to make my lack of funds sting more. She most definitely wasn't, she was being all sympathetic about my situation and all. But still felt like an attack on my socio-economic status, or lack thereof. I sighed, this was bullshit. I'll just have to remember to buy extra food with my name tag before the next weekend. But for now… “I'll figure something out, I'm not going to put that burden on you mom again.” “What shall you do?” Concern lingered in Lynne's voice. I shrugged. “When do the vendors come back?” “Not until Mōnanday morning.” I counted in my head. It's Friday now… “If I just sleep till Monday I'll be good.” Lynne looked at me horrified. “Xu are you jesting?” She protested. “What?” “You told Professor Beatrice you would eat properly.” “I told her I’d rest too. I'll just get my rest over the weekends and Monday I'll eat.” “Xu! That is not—that's not how!” Lynne's brain seemed to short-circuit. She began to say something else, but she couldn't actually make any words come out. She just looked at me like she suddenly needed glasses or something. Cecily blinked rapidly before laughing. “What? Why are you laughing?” “T’was humorous, surely thou dost but jest.” Cecily said. I looked around at the empty courtyard. I mean, I wish it was a joke, but circumstances don't leave me much of a choice. “It'll be fine, I've been lacking sleep anyways.” “What!” Lynne was squinting at me like the guards whenever I showed them my Chinese ass nametag. I couldn't tell if she was confused, mad or concerned. “It's cause I have one of those rooms with a half wall next to the hallways.” Now Cecily looked confused too. “How do you mean?” I realized explaining my rooms layout was harder than I thought. “It's like, you know how like, most rooms are like, you know, enclosed? Like they usually have four full sized walls.” They were looking at me like I was actually speaking Chinese now. But Cecily nodded at least. “Mines is like missing half a wall.” “As in your wall is broken?” “No, not broken, at least I don't think it is, it looks like it was intentionally designed that way.” “I don't understand.” “I don't either.” I honestly responded. Cecily and Lynne both look at each other as if the other had an explanation for them. “Surely you're merely mocking at us.” Cecily said “What? No I'm not mocking you, my room just has a half wall.” They didn't look convinced. “I can hop over it and get into the hallway, it's actually kinda convenient cause that hallway connects out to the courtyard.” “That doesn't make sense, why would there be a room like this?” Lynne asked “I've lived in the ladies dormitories for the last couple years and have never seen such a type of room.” Cecily added I shrugged. “I mean I can show it to you if you want. Easier than explaining it.” “Alright.” Lynne said. I gestured for them to follow me while I started towards my room. They did. "At least I'll finally get to sleep in till Monday. No parade of students marching through my room.” “You’re not sleeping til Mōnanday!” Lynne protested from behind me. “I'll drink water and get up to use the bathroom and stuff.” “That's not eating!” “I mean it's drinking.” She made a frustrated noise. I really didn't understand what she expected me to do. I couldn't buy food. And I didn't want to just keep taking from her family while doing nothing in return. Sleeping was free. Obviously I should probably sleep AND eat, but I got to make due with what I got. We crossed the courtyard towards the boys dormitories. “Anyways the annoying part is everyone starts coming through really early.” I explained to them. “I wish they'd use a different gate to get to the courtyard. “Coming through where?” Lynne asked. “My room.” “People enter your room whilst thou art sleeping?” Cecily asked. “Kinda, they go through the hallway.” “Why?” “Shortcut.” “Through thy bedchamber?” “Who calls it a bedchamber?” “What else wouldst thou call a chamber containing thy bed?” “I don't know. My room?” Cecily looked at me like I was a foreigner, she was clearly dissatisfied with my terminology. “Anyway, there's the hallway on one side of my room that's only separated by that half-wall to the “bedchamber” I looked at Cecily who was still dissatisfied with my word choice. “The whole thing is a bedchamber.” She insisted, I ignored her and continued. “And that hallway connects one of the outside gates to the courtyard, So people just kinda—” I gestured with my hand. “Go through.” “Whilst thou art in there?” Cecily sounded like she still couldn't make out if I was playing some elaborate prank on her. “Yeah.” “Sleeping?” “Usually.” “Are there no doors?” “I mean there's the gate to the courtyard, and the other gate that leads outside.” She looked at Lynne. Lynne looked equally confused. I didn't know why this was so difficult to explain. “You'll see.” I continued walking and they followed. At least until we reached the entrance. I stepped inside before realizing they stopped following me before the entrance. Lynne's eyes were wide open, I didn't remember her face being so pink. Even Cecily suddenly looked hesitant, she was looking around at anyone who could have been seen nearby. “Y'all good?” Cecily caught sight of a couple boys, one of them looked at Lynne and Cecily. Cecily made eye contact with him for a moment before the boy slightly bowed his head. Both of the boys walked past me into the corridor before politely smiling in my direction. Cecily looked at Lynne, Lynne did not, she was acting like she couldn't look anyone in the eyes right now. “Are you guys coming?” Cecily's eyes darted back to me with a nervous expression. She shook her head so fast her red hair bounced and whipped around. “What?” “We can't go in there!” Cecily said. “Why?” “Tis’ the gentlemen's dormitories.” “Yeah, that's where my dorm is.” “And we can't go there.” “Why?” “Because we're ladies Xu!” “You literally had no issues before we started walking here.” “I hadn't thought it through.” Cecily cupped her face like she was hiding. “It'll be fine, girls walk through my room all the time.” Lynne sounded like she just choked. “I beg your pardon?” I couldn't tell if Lynne was asking or exclaiming, maybe both. “Um, girls walk through my room every morning.” Lynne just looked horrified. “They're not like, rude about it, they're pretty polite actually.” I clarified. They were as polite as you could be walking through a sleeping person's room. “I used to be grumpy 'cause they'd wake me up, but they'd thank me afterward for some reason. Sometimes they leave tea and snacks on the half wall." "Why are they thanking you?" I shrugged. "I don't know. I usually say something like 'sorry to disturb you.' I guess that's just how manners work here?" "Tis not how manners work!" Lynne sounded so offended on behalf of manners. But I didn't know what she wanted me to do about that. “I mean at least they're nice about it I guess.” “Nice about what? Walking through your bedchambers whilst you sleep?” “Sometimes I'm awake.” Lynne stared at me like everything I say is worse than the last. I really didn't know what she expected out of me, I'm just being honest. “Thou said there is only half a wall separating the passage from wherest thou lay.” Cecily said. “Yeah.” “So anyone passing can simply look?” “I mean yeah, thought I already established this.” “Whilst thou change?” “Oh, I don't do that while people are walking past.” Cecily looked dumbfounded, Lynne looked increasingly upset. “It's really not that bad.” I said. “I mean at first it kinda was, I felt like one of those zoo animals where everybody walks past the enclosure and just looks inside.” Cecily’s face started going red for some reason. “They bring me stuff now though, which is nice.” I thought about the zoo comparison for more than like three seconds. “Damn, actually now that I think about it, that's exactly like a zoo animal, you bring them treats and stuff.” Lynne stared at me, her eyes getting narrow “What do they bring you?” “I don't know, like tea and stuff.” “What ladies are bringing you tea?” “I don't know, I don't even know if it's a boy or girl who left me tea to be honest.” “You don't know who it is?” “No.” "Strangers walk past your bed whilst you sleep, and leave you things, and then you eat them?" "When you say it like that it sounds bad." "It is bad! You don't know who prepared it, or what is in it, or—" "They're being polite!" “Xu!” “What? One of them brought me a pastry once, too.” “I'm leaving, I must go pack my things!” Cecily declared “I-I'm coming along.” Lynne said “You guys really don't want to come look? You don't even have to go inside, you can look from the hallway.” “I'm not looking at anything!” Cecily said as she hooked her arm around Lynne's. “Alright whatever, I'll see you guys next time, good night.” I smiled and waved before turning to go to my strangely designed dorm. “No!” Lynne said sternly. I looked up at the sky, it wasn't fully dark yet. “Good evening?” “Xu.” “What?” “You are not sleeping until Mōnanday.” “I told Beatrice I was going to get plenty of rest.” “That's not how it works Xu! You must eat at appropriate times and sleep at appropriate times. You can't binge your sleep and meals all at once. There's a reason why we have separate meals throughout the day!” Lynne looked like she'd grow up to be the professor all the students liked to get worked up. She was just so angry about this. “I wasn't planning to sleep every second.” Her eyes narrowed. “I'd get up to drink water.” “Xu!” “What?” “Go inside.” “I was.” “Pack.” I blinked. “For what?” “You are staying at my home until we return for lessons.” “Oh, we're doing this again.” “We are not doing anything, this is no longer up for debate.” “I thought we were still talking about that.” “We aren't.” “When did we stop?” “When you decided your alternative was to sleep for two days without eating.” I had nothing to say to that. I mean it's not like it's my best plan, it's just the only plan I had left to my own devices. Lynne continued. “Pack sufficient clothing through Mōnanday. Bring what you require for lessons as well.” “Wait.” Lynne crossed her arms. “What?” “Y'all said June was coming?” “Yes,” Cecily said. “Then I can't.” “Why?” Lynne asked. “Because June hates me.” They both looked confused. “June does not hate thee,” Cecily said. “She looks at me like she does.” “June can be quite reserved.” Lynne said. “And a bit stand-offish.” Cecily added “Yeah, that sounds more like the right adjective, she literally won't say a word to me, even when I'm directly talking to her” “She's merely introverted, she can be rather shy.” Lynne stated. I stared at Lynne “Shy?” “Yes.” “The girl who beat the shit out of literal mobsters and wiped the floor with Mamoru.” “There is no floor in the martial hall.” Cecily blankly stated. “That has nothing to do with her bashful nature.” Lynne protested. “Her nature did not look bashful when she was bashing people heads in.” Lynne rolled her eyes. “Ye are yet but strangers to one another.” “Yeah, and she already doesn't like me.” “She'll warm up to thee.” Cecily said confidently. “Eventually.” Lynne added. “She'll be uncomfortable if I'm there.” “She will not.” “How do you know?” “I do.” “How?” “Because I know my June.” “And I know the way she looks at me.” “She looks at everyone like that.” “No she doesn't. I've seen her look at you.” Lynne sighs out of frustration. “I can tell June you're coming.” Cecily stated. For some reason that idea felt worse. “No, it's fine, I can just stay here, I'll sleep and figure out the food thing when—” “Absolutely not!” Lynne's frustration finally boiled over. “Go pack your things now.” “But—” “One hour, we'll be waiting at the gate.” “Lynne—” “One.” She held up a finger. “Hour.” Then pointed at the gates on the opposite side of my dorm. “Pack, and come to the southern gates. Do not go back to bed and wait for questionable ladies to bring you tea.” “Lynne, it's not even like—” “I'll see you within the hour.” “You know what, what if I want tea?” Lynne looked at me in such a way I immediately regretted speaking. “...I'll see you at the southern gates in an hour.” I corrected myself. Lynne's face morphed back into a smile. “See you soon Mr.Zoo animal.” Cecily said cheekily before skipping off with Lynne linked to her arm. “...zoo animals don't drink tea.” I muttered to myself before going to my dorm to pack my clothes.

Chapter 35